If you are feeling stuck, stressed, anxious, frustrated or like you are just going through the motions, keep reading. 

These 11 tips are the secret sauce to creating a life you genuinely love. These helpful hints have transformed my own life and I’ve seen them transform the lives of others. 

1. Take control of your noggin. What stories have you accepted as your truth? What self-limiting thoughts are on repeat? How you talk to yourself matters. Self-sabotaging thoughts have no room for growth. They start off with phrases such as, “I’m never,” “I can’t,” “I wish.” 

If you go around repeating this as your truth, then you will stay stuck and you will never lose the weight. If you want to get out of your rut, then you must take control of your thoughts. 

Notice the thoughts that are holding you back. Pay attention to what is on repeat in your head. 

2. Get curious as a cat. When you feel stuck, you have to break your self-limiting beliefs by getting curious. Instead of black and white thinking, start asking yourself, “How is this possible?”

Focus on finding a solution rather than staying focused on the problem. 

“I’m never going to lose weight” turns into “How would it be possible for me to create a healthy lifestyle? I wonder if I could walk my dog for 30 minutes every night after dinner to get my body moving. I heard a friend talking about meal planning. That sounds like a good way for me to eat more foods rich in nutrients rather than swinging by fast food.” 

3. Talk back. When you hear that negative voice start creeping in, talk back to it. Let’s face it, your inner critic does not like change. That inner critic wants to keep you where you are. It wants to keep you stuck. 

Tell that meany pants to back off! Show your inner critic who is in charge. Don’t waste time arguing with your inner critic. 

And for goodness sake, don’t try to stop having all negative thoughts. You are human. Instead, acknowledge the thought but don’t take direction from it. 

All these small changes will lead to big results.

4. Get movin’ and groovin’. Get into action. Make a plan. Take a small step to move forward closer to your goal. 

Look at your end goal and work backwards. Break your big goal into smaller, manageable steps. 

It’s OK to get uncomfortable. You know you’re moving in the right direction when it’s a little scary and you’re really excited. 

You want to write a book? You’re not going to do it in a day. Start writing one chapter at a time and before you know it, you’ll have a whole novel. 

You want to run a 5K? Download Couch to 5K app. Start walking a mile. Then walk and run two miles. Then run two miles. Then run three miles. 

5. Give yourself permission. This is not about doing what you think you should do or settling for what you think you can get. 

It’s about giving yourself permission to go for it. Instead of focusing on why it’s not going to work, focus on how awesome you are going to feel once you’ve achieved your goal. 

Do you need to give yourself permission to ask for the promotion? Do you need to give yourself permission to take a break from work and do something fun? 

6. Laser focus. We have so many swirling thoughts going on in our heads that it’s hard for us to even know what we truly want and how to get there. If you feel like your mind won’t rest, slow down. 

Get a crystal clear vision of what you are craving. Picture it. Write it down. Make a vision board. Talk about it until you are blue in the face. Keep your eyes on the finish line. 

7. Stop dilly-dallying. Nothing can kill a buzz faster than delayed action. Hesitating, being indecisive and dragging your feet will keep you stuck in your fears and excuses.

Don’t wait for the perfect timing until you have every step figured out or until you are 100 percent without a doubt ready. 

Just get started. Once you start moving forward, chances are your plan will change. Think progress over perfection. 

8. Thank your lucky stars. Be grateful for everything. Be grateful for the $20 bill you found on your morning walk and for the flat tire. Waiting for AAA gave you time to have a conversation with your daughter about friendship troubles she’s been having or it gave you time alone to play a podcast you’ve been wanting to listen to. 

The more you focus on what you are grateful for, the more good things will come your way. Tap into all the good vibes all around you. 

9. Inhale and exhale. In through your nose. Out through your mouth. Slow down and be present in the moment. When you feel your shoulders tense, your stomach gets knots, or your palms start to sweat, take a deep breath. Repeat as many times as needed. 

If you really want to get serious about breathing, find a daily meditation that works for you. There tons of apps and Youtube videos you can listen to. Bottom line is intentional breathing helps quiet your mind. 

If you say meditation isn’t for you, then you probably need it the most. 

10. Know that you know. We have been conditioned to think the answers lie “out there” and once we find get there all things will be sunshine and rainbows. In reality, all the answers lie within us. 

Start trusting yourself. Listen to yourself. You know that one time when you had that gut feeling, ignored it and you wish you didn’t? Same scenario. You know what’s best for you. 

Create a new habit of asking yourself for the answer. 

11. Humor yourself. Let loose a little and have some fun. If you want to achieve your goals, you must allow yourself to enjoy life. You’re serving no one by being so uptight. You only make yourself miserable and those around you want to run for the hills. 

It’s OK to make mistakes. That’s how you learn. Instead of being all serious, laugh at yourself. Find the humor. That being said, surround yourself with people that make your cheeks hurt from laughing. 

It’s time to stop complaining about your circumstances and focus on what you can control. You can use these 11 tips and tricks to upgrade your life, whether it’s for getting a new job, finding your soulmate, losing weight or anything else your heart desires. You can do it! 

Amy Wagenknecht is a Certified BARE Life Coach. Visit amywagenknecht.com to see how she can help you.