The Christmas Rule Book | Mark’s Remarks

If you are like us, you have a list of things you think you must do at Christmas time.  Many of us still need to shop, write, bake, build, assemble, and so on. Lots to do. In our heads and hearts, we think of Christmas as a peaceful, quiet time. It usually ends up being the opposite.

Oh sure, there are still those times. I sat down on the couch last night. Michelle went to bed early and the kids were snuggled in, too. It was just me.  Even the dog had wandered off to see which bed looked the most comfortable. I sat down with only the holiday lights on.  The house was quiet. I decided just to be still for a bit with a decaf coffee in my hand.

Before long, I was ready to head to bed myself. Keep moving! If you sit for too long, you will fall asleep.

A few years back, I wrote about the monumental decision not to send Christmas cards.  We thought that might be something we continued, but it wasn’t. We decided the following year to send cards and for a few years after that, too.

This year proved to be one of those busier and leaner years. Again, we decided we would forego the sending of cards.

Now, some people are appalled by this. I even had one person say “But you have to send cards!” We do? Who says? We aren’t sending them.

Yes, we risk getting knocked off Christmas card lists, I guess.  There are some folks who keep track. “We didn’t get a card from the Tullis family. Mark them off.” However, we still get plenty and we still plan to resume sending them next year.

Maybe.

I always picture us in a nice, clean kitchen making my grandma’s peanut butter fudge and Mrs. Stanley’s Christmas cookies. It never works out that way. One year, we made everything after Christmas. Everything tasted just as good. I’m pretty sure the kitchen stayed in disarray for most of the vacation, but I’m getting to where crumbs and mess don’t bother me as much as they used to. I picture myself drinking coffee and eating fudge in the kitchen.  I am perched on Granny’s yellow kitchen chair, sitting next to a counter that has some flour residue and a few green sprinkles from last night’s baking.  And I’m still happy.

Thankfully, gift giving has gotten streamlined over the years.  There is extended family that we are lucky to see once or twice a year. Why should we buy gifts for one another? The gift is being able to get together.

With some family, we are starting to exchange money and gift cards, which in my opinion is the next Christmas tradition that needs to go. As our children grow older, you can no longer buy toys or clothing or jewelry any more. So, the gift cards and money start being exchanged.

Why should we put money in an envelope or buy a Visa card for family members and have them give us the same thing in return? I don’t think the kids would mind, really. After all, we are the ones who taught them about exchanging gifts in the first place.

I’m taking a cue from a friend of ours. Her family has slowly checked off all the things they thought they had to do in order to have a great Christmas.  Let’s throw off all the extras that cause us stress and just keep the necessary stuff.

There are risks involved. We might offend people. We might miss out on some things. We might be marked off of several lists. I believe the risks are worth it.

We need Jesus. We need peace, unconditional love and hope. We need selflessness. If other things are stressing us out and getting in the way, let’s weigh their importance and consider chucking them out.

I still need (desire) a couple of cookies and some coffee, though. I don’t think we can deny ourselves a few of the holiday pleasures, selflessness or not.

Merry Christmas to you all!

Mark Tullis

Mark is a 25-year veteran teacher teaching in Columbia. Originally from Fairfield, Mark is married with four children. He enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with his family, and has been involved in various aspects of professional and community theater for many years and enjoys appearing in local productions. Mark has also written a "slice of life" style column for the Republic-Times since 2007.
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