When I was growing up, I often remember how my family bragged about good manners. 

I came from hard-working farm folk, and clean houses, clean cars, clean kids and good etiquette were highly valued.  “Town kids” often looked down their noses at the farm kids, but I can remember the farm kiddos were head and shoulders above the rest in many ways.  

I was a town kid myself, and I couldn’t help but notice that the “farm kids” from feeder schools were smarter, more mature, and seemed even more cultured in many ways.

I also remember older folks seemed to be the most genteel of the lot who had great patience, great wisdom, better morals, and were examples to look up to. One never had to question what was right or wrong. Most older folks lead well.

I wrote a column a few weeks ago about how impatient and demanding older folks can be. Since I am now in that category, I see it is almost part of growing older.  They say as we grow older, our nervous system continues to evolve and change and sometimes causes us issues.  I have noticed I don’t worry as much or fret about things as much as I used to, but I also see that some things make me more emotional than they used to.  

But as I said in the column, I’m not sure I understand the impatience and the demanding nature of some older folks. Everything needs to be done right now, everything is urgent, and there is often no regard for anyone else and what they may be dealing with.  So, can it be possible that we grow more selfish as we grow older? Are we reverting to the ways of childhood? It’s a little daunting to think about.

So, Michelle and I went to our local community theater this weekend to watch a show. This is a theater I have worked with for many years, and the work that folks do there is near and dear to my heart. I’ve appeared in over 20 productions there and watched way more than that. Good entertainment and fantastic work for an amateur acting troupe.

I started noticing theater etiquette long ago, but one thing that is glaringly evident is the lack of regard for quiet in the theater. I was on stage during my last production, and during an exchange with my onstage spouse, there was a moment of silence. Suddenly, from behind my back, I hear a man in a normal, loud conversational tone say “What year is this supposed to be?” I almost wanted to turn around and say “1937!  May we continue?”

The other night, there were a couple of gentlemen and ladies in the audience who decided to do a running commentary of the show. They did not appear decrepit or impaired in any way, at least in the dark. Anytime there was something funny, one of them had to reiterate. Each time there was raucous laughter, they would take that opportunity to holler above the laughter.  

It was distracting. I did the teacher thing and said “Shhh” a couple of times until Michelle hit me on the leg.

When I have complained about people talking in the audience to either my theater friends or others, someone will invariably say “Maybe they have trouble hearing and have no idea how loud they are.”  

I completely understand that.

Look, I am so very grateful we have wonderful audiences at the shows, and I realize that a large population of our audience are older folks, too.  

I hope I don’t make anyone mad by sharing my opinion. 

Moreover, I cannot say for sure I know what it’s like to be unable to hear.

However, the bottom line goes back to what I started this column with: etiquette.

Whether you are hard of hearing or not, you aren’t supposed to talk during a theater show. If you have questions about what is going on, or you didn’t hear something, try to wait until intermission to get things explained to you. If you really, really have to know something, and whispering is an option, get as close as you can to the person next to you and ask the question in an extremely quiet voice.  

Or heck, get up and go out to the lobby if you must.  

 You’re simply not supposed to talk during a performance, which many venues politely announce prior to a show. It’s sort of like the theater is illuminating one of those “On the Air” light-up signs radio stations and live television shows used to have.

And while I’m at it; keep your elbows off the table, don’t lick your fingers, and please do not talk with your mouth full or make smacking noises while you eat.

I might as well go for broke since I’m on the subject of good manners.