I liked you better when… | Mark’s Remarks

marks I’m a big fan of self-deprecating humor. I always have been. I guess I learned early on that if you learn to make fun of yourself a little and you are able other folks relate to you and laugh with you instead of at you.

There have been plenty of comedians who use this technique. We all find them funny. Joan Rivers was one of those gals. A whole bunch of segments of TV news and entertainment shows have been devoted to paying tribute to Rivers this past week. They were all fun to watch.

She was a funny lady, especially in the early days. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of everything she said. She started falling in to that whole movement to have the elderly comedians (especially ladies) use profanity and off-color jokes to get laughs. There are so many talented older ladies like Cloris Leachman, Betty White and a few other senior citizen-funnyfolks who resort to blue humor. I guess it’s funny for a while, but it starts to get a little old after a while. Pardon the pun.

I don’t want to be disrespectful of Rivers at all. I think she worked very hard to make it in show business. She had obstacles to overcome. She opened doors for other lady entertainers. She just kept going. Indeed, we were all shocked she passed away because we probably thought she’d just keep going. I mean, she was 81 years old, but we still thought she would be around forever.

As I watched all the tributes, I couldn’t help but wonder: why all the plastic surgery? I didn’t think she was particularly unattractive in her early years. She had a nice face. She had a face that could make people laugh (you know what I mean). She appealed to ordinary folks like the rest of us. There were some of those early sketches in which I thought she looked very pretty. Did you see them?

I know, I know. Joan’s plastic surgery was her business. But still, I guess I would have liked to talk to her early on, long ago, and tell her “Don’t do it! People like you the way you are.” Wouldn’t it be a great job? Motivator of the stars. You earn money running around talking the rich and famous OUT of getting plastic surgery.

Many people felt the same way about Roseanne. Michelle and I always loved her show. Like Joan Rivers’ early face, Roseanne appealed to ordinaryfolks like the rest of us. Did you notice her show began to go south when she started getting all her plastic surgery? Her character was no longer funny. She got downright mean. She trimmed down, got her teeth and hair fixed. True, she probably felt better about herself. But I thought she was funnier when she was heavier and happier.

Did you ever watch the show “Designing Women?” Boy am I going to get myself in some trouble, but I’m going to go so far as to say I liked Delta Burke better after she got heavy. I thought she was funnier. She was a knockout, very beautiful. She still is. But I thought she was funnier when she got heavy. Now, like many other gals her age, she’s got that big-cheeked, chipmunk look after getting plastic surgery. Yes, still pretty, as I said. But not natural looking. And when’s the last time we saw her on TV?

Walter Matthau is one of my favorite actors of all time. I just saw a clip from an Academy Awards show in which he won an Oscar. He hobbled up to the stage with arm in cast and big scabs on his face. He had just suffered a bicycle accident, he said. I don’t think he cared. He was a superstar, ugly mug and all.

I guess my point is this: how many super-attractive people do you really know? I would say I know plenty of good-looking folks, but I know few people who would be considered flawlessly attractive. I know people with nice faces, good hair, clear skin, fit bodies, pretty eyes and so on. I know heavy people who, in my opinion, are pretty people. But, let’s face it: the general population is ordinary looking. And most of us are OK with that.

Speaking of famous folks: have you ever noticed how actors in Europe look pretty ordinary? There are plenty of English folks who are big stars who look like the rest of us. Their talent is the basis for their stardom, not their looks.

Maybe they could come across the pond and teach these bloody Americans something.

Mark Tullis

Mark is a 25-year veteran teacher teaching in Columbia. Originally from Fairfield, Mark is married with four children. He enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with his family, and has been involved in various aspects of professional and community theater for many years and enjoys appearing in local productions. Mark has also written a "slice of life" style column for the Republic-Times since 2007.
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