My wife has been threatening me for the past few years as my retirement loomed.  Not in a bad way, by any means, but sort of a gentle coaxing.

Not really, but it sounds good.

Everyone keeps asking me “Are you counting the days?” and “What are you going to do?”  

You know how small talk thrills me, if you have read any of my particularly cranky-themed columns.  

I need to get over myself and just appreciate people being concerned or interested.

So anyway, every time people ask me those questions, Michelle, if she’s around, will chime in and say “He’s going to get a job.”

You’re not the boss of me, woman!

A  while back, I read the book “Cheaper by the Dozen.” It is a story about a couple of efficiency experts who have a large family.  The concept of efficiency, or really, making things easier, always appealed to me. Work smarter, not harder. You’ve heard them all before.

I really became interested in organizing several years ago, and found out I was pretty good at it, actually.  Still, I’m from the generation that often thought such interests should be relegated to housewives and old women, so I didn’t broadcast it too much.

As the years passed and I talked to more and more guys I knew, I realized there were plenty of us who liked things in order. I have met several men who are better housekeepers than their wives, who are far more particular than the average housewife. I could go on and on about all the shocking things I’ve discovered about my most red-blooded, American male friends.

It would astound you.  But, I digress.

So, I decided to see if I could actually make an extra income off professional organizing, no longer caring if someone would think I was a fussy old woman.

You can call me Gertrude, if you want.

Sure enough, when I started advertising quietly, I got some bites. I have helped folks who are downsizing, and I have advised folks on getting their garages in shape in order to bring those foreign items, also called cars, out of the cold. A few folks, excited at first, had to be assured and gently led into my consultation.  

Some backed out, thinking I might ask them to part with beloved things.

It’s been my experience that anyone who is trying to organize a space needs to strike while the iron is hot.  There are just a few criteria to look at when decluttering or downsizing. One has only to consider a few facts before deciding to let go of things. And contrary to popular belief, almost no one has come back and said “I sure wish I’d kept that.”

One customer had a basement and a garage that seemed insurmountable, and after trying to set up an appointment, canceling it, deciding they weren’t ready, and then rescheduling, we finally met to look at both spaces.

“I just want to be able to use these spaces and know what I have in here,” was the comment I heard. So, we made a plan. We designated areas to put things, and we readied an area in the garage for giveaways, throwaways, and such. 

It wasn’t long before we had a pretty good game plan, and the customer saw light at the end of the tunnel.

“Boy, I almost called you and told you not to come again. I’m glad I went through with it.”

It’s been my experience that decluttering and getting organized is not the actual hard part.  

The hardest part is deciding to get started.

I’ve also found that people need a certain degree of counseling when it comes to their stuff, and someone from the outside of their life can help them make sense of things.  

I told a person not long ago that I thought they needed to hold on to a box of items.  

I’m not a counselor, but I had this gut feeling.

“This old box? Are you kidding?”

The customer was having a tough time going through the box and getting rid of things. The items inside obviously gave them an amount of joy and made them happy. True, most of the things had no practical use, but there was an attachment.  Such an attachment that it might not have been a good idea to turn loose of the stuff hastily.

I suggested holding onto the things for six months to a year. That box wasn’t hurting anything.

A few weeks ago, I talked to that customer to follow up after a successful six-hour decluttering and organizing on a previous Saturday morning.

“I got rid of the box.  I kept a few things, and I gave some things to the kids. There were some things I threw away.”

The box was gone and it hadn’t even taken a month.  It had just taken the freedom to keep it if they had decided to.

I’m rather amazed at the physical and mental benefits that decluttering, downsizing, and organizing seem to provide. 

As I said, I haven’t heard from one person who regretted it.