I have written a good many columns centered on how children should behave. I’m afraid I am a bit judgmental when it comes to kids and their parents.  I don’t mean to be, but I am.

Let me go ahead and call myself out first: I am not perfect and neither are my kids.  The smart mouths, certain ways they deal with their tempers, sarcasm and several other bad habits were caused by me, I’m afraid. Parents must look at themselves very closely before pointing the finger at other parents and the kids they are raising. We all mess up. We are all flawed in one way or another.

The key, I think, to dealing with these flaws is to be willing to have conversations with your kids. Don’t be afraid to tell your kids you lost your temper and shouldn’t have. Explain yourself to your kids when necessary. Is there a time and place for saying “Because I said so?”  Sure. But I also think kids need to be talked to about things and they need to know that parents make mistakes, too. I guarantee you it will get you some respect from your kids — even in those teenage years when their evil twins take over for a bit.

I will also tell you I am a huge jokester. I’ve regularly laughed with my kids over bathroom humor and belching.  We have poked one another in the rear end and have tickled one another quite a bit. We’ve played pranks. We’ve talked about underwear and bellybuttons and snot coming out of our noses. Yes, although I talk a good game most of time, you can’t accuse me of being too prudish when it comes to things kids like to laugh about.

But I’ll also tell you we have had lots of conversations that begin with “Now is that OK to do at school or when you are in someone else’s house?” We have already talked to the baby about proper manners and behavior in her preschool classroom. She can almost recite, word for word, a list of taboos.  She proudly announces as she counts off on her fingers “We can’t burp or toot unless it’s an accident and we say excuse me.  We can’t talk about butts or private parts. We can’t pick our noses or talk about boogers.  We aren’t supposed to talk about underwear.”

Sometimes she adds to the list or forgets something, but the general idea is there: some things we laugh about at home aren’t acceptable other places.

As parents, we fall victim to the cuteness factor. We hear our adorable little ones saying off-color things, or being ill-mannered, or butting into conversations, or anything else they shouldn’t do or say. Then, instead of correcting them, we laugh about it. We look at our little ones and love them with all our hearts and we think everything they say and do is incredibly charming.

A lot of parents spent the first few years of their child’s life laughing and revering their children. They enjoy their children — which they should certainly do — but they fail to see the harm in not spending some time talking to their kiddos about certain things.

This old-fogie school teacher continues to lose his filter more and more as time passes.  I’m pretty sure I’m going to be one of those elderly people who speaks his mind and comes off as being impossibly cantankerous. Heck, I’m probably already there.

But I no longer worry about the reaction of parents when I correct their child in front of them. I will say things like “Hey, don’t talk to your parents like that.” Sometimes, kids are excited or nervous about something, and those emotions manifest themselves in ways that aren’t appropriate. I’ve said things like “I know you’re excited kiddo, but you are starting to say things that don’t sound nice.” You don’t have to be ugly about it. Firm. Let them know you mean business without embarrassing them. I see nothing wrong with that.

I met a little girl the other day. Cute as a button. She smiled a charming smile. Her eyes sparkled. Instead of saying hello back to me, she looked at my  shoes and said “Those shoes are weird.” I said, “Well I like your shoes. Maybe I could wear them some time.” It’s her mother’s business to correct her. I made a joke back — which may not have been the right approach. If it happens a few more times, I may tell her the things she says hurt my feelings, even if I could care less if the kid likes my shoes or not. I think all kids can be gently corrected by just about anyone. You know the old saying, “It takes a village.” I’ve used it many times in my columns.

I’ll give you a funny story to go out on. Again, this is about my own child and it is a pretty good illustration for what I am talking about. Once, Michelle took Riley and Tanner to get their pictures taken. They were waiting patiently, as a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old wait. I wasn’t there, but when the lady photographer bent over, Riley poked her in the rear end. I wonder where he got that?  Michelle apologized to the lady, made Riley apologize, and told him firmly he was not supposed to do such a thing. Did the lady laugh? Yes. Did Michelle find it funny? Yes, but she didn’t laugh.

When I got home later, I heard the whole thing. She was careful not to tell the story in front of the boys. We laughed our heads off, tears streaming down our cheeks. Most people would find it hilarious. Again though, Riley had no idea we thought it was funny. Later, I talked about it with him and we went over proper etiquette outside of the home. It was hard to keep from laughing, but I think I did a fairly decent job.

I’m not entirely sure, but I think we ended up getting a discount on the pictures. Maybe the photographer got such a kick out of the boys that she cut us a break.