This week, I read an article written by Amy Betters-Midtvedt, an author and former teacher who has written books about raising kids, teaching, and life in general.

I don’t agree with everything I’ve read about her, but I think she is a wise person. The article she wrote was posted on Facebook, and it was about her days as a cheerleader in high school. Apparently, the cheerleading sponsor didn’t like her; her “hyena-like” laugh, her loud mouth, and her extroverted personality.  

The coach told her quite often that she “gave her a headache” and at one point, Amy was relegated to the back of the equipment bus as she rode to an away game. At the beginning of her junior year in high school, she found she did not make the squad for the following year. She was devastated, and some witnesses said that the coach purposely moved the try-out scores around so that Amy wouldn’t make the squad again.  

It made me think of my years as an educator and how over-the-top students often rubbed teachers the wrong way. Some were misunderstood. Some of them, grating or not, were actually good kids.  

I wonder how many of those kids, like Amy, missed out simply because they were living life and being their true selves?

The part of the article that really stood out to me, though, was the fact Amy said her parents chose not to protest. They didn’t call the school. They didn’t contact the coach. They didn’t throw a fit. They chose, wisely, to help their child navigate this life event that, even if it was unfair, was part of a journey through life. 

Obviously, it helped their daughter achieve many great things.

I can’t tell you the amount of parents and grandparents I’ve known who, even though good people, can become absolutely awful when their kids are involved. They cannot see reason. They cannot see the greater good and they refuse to see anything from any other perspective.  They often act on things without getting the whole story, and the ones who are the most ignorant and who have the loudest mouths often get what they want.  

They are the biggest pains in the patootie, and I’d like to use stronger language in this sentence.

We have cheerleading squads with a bazillion cheerleaders. Sports team tryouts are bloody. All homecoming queen candidates get a crown (I’ll never let this one rest). Parents of kids who don’t make the cut for an AP or “gifted” class throw such a fit that the standards for the tests are dumbed down and the classes don’t end up being AP or advanced at all.  

Some teachers were made to re-do a spelling bee contest once because one kid (and his parents), said the preliminaries were unfair.

Yes, ignorant and uninformed parents with big mouths run the show in most cases. Pushy, bossy bullies still get results.  

As I’ve said, I see it across the board. It’s not only in our schools. It’s at the workplace, church, and in communities. It’s maddening when you look at the character of the people who get the results.

Am I being judgmental? Yes, I am. I come to the judgmental table with experience to back up my opinion.

I’ve watched some of the best administrators go through absolute hell due to school boards, other administrators, teachers and community members being completely asinine, self-centered, and just plain stupid. Ridiculous people go on Facebook as soon as their underpants get in a twist and post all sorts of things about teachers, administrators and school districts – mostly due to seeing things only from their perspective.

Yes, it’s true emotions run high when kids are involved. I once had a belligerent parent throwing a fit in a parent-teacher meeting, and after we talked for a bit, she proclaimed that she felt “like an ass” and apologized. She had only known one side of the story.   Since I was older at the time, I was thankful for a thicker skin and a more understanding head.  

Shoot, I have kids myself, and I could completely relate to wanting to conquer everyone and everything for the sake of my children.

I’m wondering how many people would also feel “like an ass” if they knew the whole scoop?  

Plus, I’m wondering how many kids would benefit, even thrive, from being allowed to go through dark times or unpleasant, even unfair circumstances. 

 In my book, it can only improve their characters.