The benefits of shutting up | Mark’s Remarks

Back in school, there were very few days that I didn’t get in trouble for talking too much.

I’m pretty sure my teachers mentioned that I visited too much in class when my mother went to parent conferences.  

In high school, I got in trouble a few times in study hall for talking too much and had to copy the dictionary, a punishment Mr. Wood doled out to talkative freshmen. I think the only detention I ever got was for excessive talking.

It makes me sympathize with my students, if nothing else.  

Now, after talking to people most of my career, I long for solitude. When I am at myself and able to haul my patootie out of bed, I enjoy early morning quiet. In fact, if I had my way, there would be no talking until around 10 a.m.  

Now, I love being around people and I love people. I really do. But there is something cleansing and calming about just being quiet at times. Don’t you think?

It has taken me over 50 years to keep my mouth shut, and I still am not good at it. I mean, plenty of people who know me will read this and spit out their coffee. 

I come from a long line of big talkers. It’s actually something I’m rather proud of. Still, I must admit that I admire quiet people and sometimes find them the wisest and almost always the funniest.

But I have learned that one doesn’t have to tell all the details and inform people of every little thing.  There are plenty of people who would like to know every little thing, and not supplying them with too much information is often a good thing.

I’ve been around people who are bubble poppers.  What I mean by that is they find a way to be negative about some of the most exciting things. 

Over the years, I’ve simply learned not to share too much with those people. I don’t know if jealousy is involved, or they just naturally do it without knowing.  Whatever the case, I simply don’t share too much with the poppers.  Really, I try to avoid being too excited about anything around them.

How about the “one-uppers?” No matter what you talk about, they have a better way or an experience to talk about. It doesn’t matter what you talk about, they have either had the experience, know something about it, or know someone who knows someone who knows something about it. 

I tell such folks almost nothing these days. 

There are the “my kids” people, too. They never ask you about your own situation or family, but all conversations they start with you involve their own family. 

Now, I totally get that. I want to tell everyone about my kids and family, and I’m sure I’ll be worse when I have grandkids. But I hope to heaven it’s not all I talk about and I hope that I don’t forget to talk to people instead of talking at them.

I have a good friend who is traveling to a retreat this summer. Apparently, there is an overabundance of quiet at this retreat. Lots of time to walk in the woods and along trails. 

The rules are “keep quiet.” I think we could all benefit from such a retreat from time to time. 

It should be included in our insurance benefits.

There are major health perks from being quiet.  Rest is the number one benefit. You are able to listen to your thoughts, become more self-aware, and so on.

Some folks, including myself, will say this is an opportune time for the Holy Spirit to speak to you. We tend to be more creative when we are silent.  My grandpa used to say he needed time to “study” something and would just be quiet to think. Daydreaming, contemplating, and regenerating are more possible when we are quiet.

Shutting up is good for overall brain health.  

Around this time of the year, I have usually have had a good amount of time for my brain to rest from the somewhat 24/7 interaction that is the core of my career. Still, around this time of year, my quiet times involve a lot of thinking about the upcoming school year. I can’t seem to help doing that.

Usually, my thoughts do a lot of unpacking and thinking about what did and didn’t work. If I’m organized, I jot a few notes somewhere.

I hope you have a little quiet today.

Mark Tullis

Mark is a 25-year veteran teacher teaching in Columbia. Originally from Fairfield, Mark is married with four children. He enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with his family, and has been involved in various aspects of professional and community theater for many years and enjoys appearing in local productions. Mark has also written a "slice of life" style column for the Republic-Times since 2007.
HTC web
MCEC Web